Toby Lynn Shapiro Wallach died unexpectedly on June 14, 2026 in Madison, Wisconsin. Among her many stellar contributions to her community and family, she was loved and valued as a kind soul and mother by many beyond her own kids, Lori (Washington, DC), David (New York), and Daniel (Madison). She viewed her children’s happiness, education and success and that of her three grandsons, Jacob, Noah and Samuel, as a critical life mission. This included ensuring her kids’ and grandkids’ cultural literacy, exposure to the world, and ability to cook well. She was never happier than when spending time with her grandkids.– reading them books as little guys to admiring the beautiful new table Jacob crafted for the cottage, beating Noah at gin after Sunday sushi dinner at grandma’s and attending the symphony with Sam at the Overture Center after an afternoon of art projects.

Toby met her husband of 52 years, Peter, when they were freshmen in college at the UW in Madison. They married the summer after they graduated and lived much of their life together in Wausau. Toby took the lead raising their family, enjoyed a wonderful circle of friends many of whom she kept to this day and with Peter built a thriving business. Toby was the first woman president of Mount Sinai Congregation and with several friends in 1981 founded the Wausau Conservatory of Music.

Her contributions to the community and support and love of extended family and friends are epic. From being a 1970s Brownie and Cub Scout troop leader to decades of numerous community boards and initiatives to nurturing her niece Sonya’s educational pursuits, Toby dedicated her considerable intelligence and organizational skills to good ends. And she did it with standout elegance, grace and style. She was ahead of her time in supporting young gay people who were welcomed in her home in conservative 1980s Wausau and joyfully celebrated many a commitment ceremony, wedding and baby adoption.

From Wausau and Madison, Toby organized decades of family trips that combined education and fun in far flung locales and stunning amounts of baggage from portable cribs early-on to a Parthenon-scaling wheelchair for a Greek Islands trip and family gatherings in Key West. In her honor, Toby’s children will sustain the tradition of the annual Wallach family Great Winter Schlepp. Even after moving to Madison in 2002, Toby and Peter continued to make weekend summer trips to the cottage they bought in 1973 near Minocqua to enjoy time with family by the lake. They also made regular visits to Chicago to enjoy the Lyric Opera.

After Peter passed in 2014, Toby overcame unimaginable hurdles to launch another chapter of her life. In June 2015 she had a horrific highway car crash that broke her to smithereens and from which many a doctor said she could not possibly recover. Her will to live and fighting spirit, excellent pioneering healthcare and team of loving family and friends over 18 months of hard work delivered the miracle of her being present for her three grandsons’ bar mitzvahs and the next rich decade of her life building a loving circle of friends living in a beautiful apartment at Capitol Lakes in Madison accompanied by furry black cockapoo Sophie and a team of helpers most recently led by the wonderful Sharada Paneru, who Toby adored.

Toby served on the Madison Opera board for two decades and was a generous supporter of the Madison Symphony, and other cultural, Jewish, educational and animal welfare organizations. She was a discerning political inquisitor, supporting progressive Democratic policymakers and riding shotgun as lit handler for numerous Madison area Get Out The Vote door knocking adventures. She organized the mahjong group, floor dinners, annual birthday celebrations for her beloved neighbor Georgia Paschke and more at Cap Lakes.

Just a month ago, she reveled in a New Orleans to Memphis Viking Mississippi River cruise that she took the initiative to organize. She was plotting about when she could do the St Louis to Minneapolis leg next to view her Prairie du Chien, WI hometown from shipboard.

Toby was born January 23, 1940 in Prairie du Chien, graduated University of Chicago Lab High in 1957 and completed a social work degree at Madison in 1961. She was preceded in death by her husband Peter, her brothers Jay (Jan) Shapiro and Don (Kathy) Shapiro and parents Herman and Lucile Shapiro.

On Thursday June 18, a 10:30 funeral will be held at Temple Beth El, 2702 Arbor Dr., Madison with a graveside service at Wausau Hebrew Cemetery at 3PM and reception and shiva at Mount Sinai Congregation starting at 4PM. On Friday, June 19, Toby will be remembered at a 1:30 reception/shiva at Capitol Lakes in Madison. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Toby’s honor to the  Dane County Humane Society,  American Jewish World Service, and  Capitol Lakes Foundation. 

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Cress Funeral & Cremation Services

3610 Speedway Rd    Madison

608-238-3434