Howard Irwin Bernstein of Madison, Wisconsin passed away from congestive heart failure at Parkway Health Center in Little Rock, Arkansas on April 22, 2025. He was born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin to Norman and Freida Bernstein. As the oldest of his siblings and cousins, he was the uncontested leader of their crew of kids, running around Milwaukee during the school year and Princeton, West Virginia in the summers, hanging around at his grandfather’s corner store, leading firefly chases and flashlight tag, and swimming in the town swimming pool and Brown’s Lake.
Howard was a gifted musician who played piano for more than 50 years and had an intuitive understanding of music. He could hear a song on the radio and play it on the piano five minutes later. Popular songs, from the Beatles to Leonard Cohen to Ben Folds turned into classical symphonies under his hands. He was always discovering new artists, new genres, and new sounds. He liked songs with stories and with talking in the middle, songs with unusual time signatures and haunting minor chords.
Howard had a quick good humor and a powerful insight into daily life and politics. He reveled in clever wordplay, solving British cryptic crosswords and the daily word jumble until his last days. He knew everything there was to know about the Brewers, and believed that life was best lived in the spirit of everything in moderation, including moderation. His career spanned 35 years working for the State of Wisconsin as the General Counsel for DILHR, later called the Department of Workforce Development. He spent his career as an attorney protecting employees from exploitation by their employers and always said the biggest crime in this country isn’t robbery or violence, but wage theft. He taught us to read the fine print and trust ourselves first.
Howard was kind. Not a man who tried to be kind, but one whose reflex was kindness. This was clear in everything he did, from how he took care of his family and his cats to how he chose to spend his career. But over all these other adjectives, the thing that defined his life was his love for his wife, Barb (“Barbie,” as he called her), and their love for each other. Anyone who ever saw them together could see that they fit together like puzzle pieces. They were lucky to meet young, and have nearly 51 years together on this earth. Their relationship with each other showed us all what a marriage and a life well-lived should look like.
Howard was preceded in death by his parents, Norman and Freida, his wife, Barbara, and his son, Thomas. He is survived by his daughter Laura (Jonathan), granddaughter Mabel, siblings Leonard (Inger) and Judy (Laur), and many cousins and friends. In lieu of flowers or gifts, the family asks that you make a donation in his name to Temple Beth El or the Madison Cat Project.
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