Carolyn T. Cox-Flanagan

Carolyn Cox-Flanagan, 91, passed away peacefully on Sunday, September 21st, in Madison, Wisconsin. She led a rich and adventurous life, and she bid her farewell with “no regrets.”

Born 1934 in Chicago, Illinois, Carolyn graduated from Arizona State College with a Bachelor of Arts in Education with distinction in 1956. After college, Carolyn struck out on her own for Boston, where she attained a masters degree in theology at Boston University. There, in 1958, she met the budding young director William Thrasher. Together, they founded the Theater Experiment Laboratory, and what started with scrappy underground productions ended with accolades from some of Boston’s premier theater critics. (At one point, Carolyn was even declared the “best actress in Boston” by the Boston Herald’s legendary Elliot Norton.)

Among Carolyn’s theatrical coups was a performance as the Serpent in the Garden of Eden dressed in a 10-foot long stuffed serpent tail. Legs encumbered, Carolyn still somehow managed to slither up a set of steps — a feat of athleticism that saved her co-star from bending over and dislodging his minimal costume of a few fig leaves.

Of course, great actors still have to pay the bills, so she took up a job as an administrative assistant at the Boston City Hospital. There she met her lifelong friend Linda Percy. The two bonded over long walks around Jamaica Pond. As Linda recalls, Carolyn liked to posit that most hardened criminals start down that path due to a lack of birthday recognition. To prevent Linda from embarking on a life of crime, she ensured that her dear friend was never without a birthday cake, even if it had to be shipped internationally.

Another fateful moment came when Carolyn was in the market for a used car. Coast Guard captain Dave Flanagan may have been just trying to unload an old clunker, but when he met the lovely Carolyn in person, sparks flew. The two were married on Valentine’s Day, 1982 — resulting in Dave getting the darn car back again.

When Dave’s work brought him to Panama, Carolyn threw herself into local adventures, from appearing on the cooking show “Cocinemos con Rosita” to getting a crash course in jungle survival. (Since Carolyn firmly believed in safety first, she held onto the snakebite kit for the next couple of decades).

In Panama, Dave developed an interest in bamboo as a sustainable renewable resource. Carolyn contributed her refined eye for design and her knowledge of Japanese aesthetics, and the result was a highly successful company: Bamboo Fencer. Bamboo Fencer designed skillfully crafted fences for many clients, including the MFA in Boston and the National Gallery in DC. At the same time, Carolyn honed her skill with traditional Japanese flower arranging, becoming president of the Boston Ikenobo Ikebana Society in 2001.

With her warm hospitality, effortless elegance, and mischievous wit, Carolyn had a knack for bringing people together, and for nurturing friendships so deeply that they became family ties. In later years, Carolyn devoted herself to caring for her friends and her church community at the United Parish in Boston. She brought her world-class acting skills to her granddaughters’ goofy, typo-ridden Christmas plays, and used her impeccable aesthetic sensibility to turn her home into a welcoming retreat for an endless array of houseguests.

Her friends and family are deeply grateful that, over the course of her last days, they had the time to tell Carolyn how much she meant to them. Many, many friends sent in stories of their favorite memories with Carolyn; every single one of them was read, laughed over, and treasured. She was preceded in death by her brother, Bill Cox, and is survived by her husband, David Flanagan; her stepdaughter, Ruth Flanagan, and step-son-in-law, Andy Soth; her two granddaughters, Amelia and Lucy Soth; and her beloved chosen family, including Linda Percy, Gerrit Peterson, William Thrasher, Alan Dion, the Veldarde family, the Willoughby family, and many more.

A green burial will be held at the Farley Center’s Natural Path Sanctuary in Verona, WI on October 7th at 3 pm. Guests are advised that the service will be outdoors and involve walking and standing for an extended period of time.

In lieu of flowers, we welcome you to honor Carolyn’s memory with a donation to the Carolyn Cox Flanagan Memorial Fund, which will be used to support special musical projects at the United Parish in Brookline, Carolyn’s beloved church community. Donations can be made at this link; click “make a donation” and then select “Carolyn Cox Flanagan Memorial Fund” from the dropdown menu. Alternatively, checks can be sent to 210 Harvard Street, Brookline, MA 02446; they should be made out to United Parish in Brookline, with Carolyn Cox Flanagan Memorial in the memo line. Donations in Carolyn’s honor could also be directed to Planned Parenthood of Wisconsin.

Cress Funeral Home

608-238-3434